Grief & Love

 

Grief & Love

“Grief and love are sisters, woven together from the beginning. Their kinship reminds us that there is no love that does not contain loss and no loss that is not a reminder of the love we carry for what we once held close.” - The Wild Edge Of Sorrow By Francis Weller

Good Morning, This week has been one of sadness and reflection for me and for the family and friends of Lawrence Roullier White, who left us five years ago on Wednesday. While I was contemplating my own loss and journey through the quagmire that is the grieving process, the total figure of deaths from COVID in the UK were published, and I was reminded once again that there are now millions of people, just like me, mourning sudden, unexpected bereavement and experiencing the wrenching pain that it brings. My thoughts are with them. I have found psychotherapist Francis Weller's words comforting at times, for the sad truth is that with great love, inevitably, comes great pain, but to know great love is the pinnacle of human existence and we must be grateful to have experienced it. We truly loved, Lawrence and I, for over three decades, all of our adult lives in fact, and for that I am, constantly and unimaginably, grateful. Lawrence still lives-on in the many people whose lives he touched and we must celebrate him, so I dedicate this week's Newsletter to the talent, kindness, creative genius, wit and wisdom of 'Lolly' whose name still stands above our door and whom I miss, every day. And so, a little trip down memory lane this morning! Please excuse the indulgence, but I thought that it might be interesting to revisit the birth of Roullier White.... way back in 2005!  Lawrence had been a retail buyer for many years, specialising in the Museum/Charity sector, with a string of high-profile projects under his belt, including launching the numerous, themed stores at the Millennium Dome  - quite a feat I can assure you! We had often discussed opening a store in East Dulwich where we lived, selling quality essentials that were simply not available in what was then a leafy, London backwater. If you wanted to buy a fragrance, a decent saucepan, well-balanced cutlery or bone china, it was a trip to W1 or a foray to Peter Jones in Chelsea. And then came the bombings in London on 7/7. At the time, Lawrence was employed in South Kensington at The Natural History Museum and catching a bus and two trains to work each day. The targeting of the transport system by extremists was terrifying and I started to do some research to see if there were any premises available in East Dulwich that might be suitable for a store, thus keeping him away from the potential threat and within walking distance of our front door! This sounds quite dramatic now, but it was a traumatising incident - I was working not far from Aldgate tube and remember seeing the commuters who had been involved, walking shell-shocked and covered in black soot, across Tower Bridge in silence - hundreds and hundreds of people walking away slowly - it was eerie and very scary. We found an old hairdressers 'Guys n Dolls' (I know, so 1970's, complete with those enormous 'hood' hairdryers!) that was up for sale on Lordship Lane. It was a good size and, while not situated at the busy end of the street, it was at least on the main drag! And so, we re-mortgaged our house, signed the papers and Lawrence set to work creating his dream store. It really was a labour of love and he achieved it in just 4 months as we opened our doors in the middle of November 2005 just in time for Christmas! It is difficult to imagine now that Lordship Lane is a busy, popular and thriving High Street, full of stylish independent shops, but back then it presented quite a depressing face to the world! East Dulwich was still trying to recover from the trend towards 'retail parks' and the opening of a large 'destination' supermarket which had forced the closure of all our local butchers and greengrocers. 'Shop Local' was a concept way-off in the future and it took a great deal of talent and steely determination to attempt to reverse the fortunes of our run-down, unloved High Street. Fortunately, Lawrence was not alone and a small coterie of shop keepers and restaurateurs took a risk and opened small, specialist businesses that clicked with local people and began to get East Dulwich noticed. I am very proud that he was a member of this particular vanguard, and can rightly claim credit as one of the handful of entrepreneurs that helped restore the public face and fortunes of our community.

Shop Now - Laguiole Cutlery - From £6.50

Shop Now - Laguiole Cutlery - From £6.50

I remember opening-day vividly - he had piled white, bone-china high on a scrubbed, pine table in the middle of the window - the look of the store was quite 1940's and charming, a visual reference to the golden days of 'service retailing' to which he was so committed. We still stock many of the products that he had so lovingly collated on that day, from the white bone china to Laguiole cutlery from France (which dates back two hundred years), the La Rochere (making glass for over 500 years) bee glasses that we used in our French home, and the eternally glamorous Kaymet Trays (handmade in South London since 1947).

Shop Now - Kaymet Tray - £105.00

Shop Now - Nesti Dante Soap - Cypress Dei Colli Fiorentini - £5.95

The Nesti Dante Soap Collection still occupies its shelf and features his favourite 'Cypres' bar - the fragrance, a sophisticated classic, still has the ability to conjure him. Lawrence loved a product with provenance and I remember him bringing in Uncle Joe's Mint Balls which he spotted when I took him to Wigan to show him the site of my grandmother's shop, (Donovan's'!) on the High St there.

Shop Now - Mrs White's Collection

Of course, when speaking of Lawrence's legacy, the Mrs White's collection looms large, but this too had an element of 'necessity being the mother of invention' ! We had launched several natural cleaning brands (one from the US and one from Denmark) before spiralling, currency-conversion rates made us consider creating our own. Fortunately, he had recently discovered his great-grandmother's book of cleaning recipes and decided that this might be kismet, so the collection was born with just a few products including 'At Your Convenience', 'Baths & Basins', 'Steel Yourself' and 'Laundry Maid'. Being able to control the ingredients, ensuring that the products were 100% natural and non-toxic, and also endlessly testing efficacy, became a passion and there were over seventy individual products at the time of his death. He even added pet products and our long-suffering cat Lola became the unwilling litmus test for 'Cat's Cradle' bed freshener and 'Glamour Puss' grooming spray!

Shop Now - Mrs White's Collection

Shop Now - True Blues - Handy Household Gloves - £10.00

He was even particular about how to apply the Mrs White's collection and we still carry his favourite 'True Blues' which I shall let him describe to you in his own words:  "True Blue Kitchen Gloves have been called the most durable, versatile and comfortable pair of gloves you’ll ever own. They slip on and off easily thanks to a cotton liner that absorbs perspiration. Their amazing dexterity allows for a good grip, even when you’re polishing thin forks or washing slippery glasses. True Blues are made of vinyl so they won’t crack like latex gloves, even after months of hard wear. You can even toss them in the washing machine. Being fully moulded, they are great for people with arthritis, as they easily slip on and off and the fingers will never close up, stick together and split." I must say that following in the footsteps of true talent has been rather deflating at times(!), but mostly it has inspired and we try to hit the benchmark he set as often as we can. While the world has lost a great deal of its colour with his passing, and kindness is certainly in shorter supply, we are thankful to have known and loved him. Sail on my angel - until we meet again.